i do not understand

This I wrote after a long conversation with a friend who asked a question we all struggle with at times. If God exists and loves us as much as people say he does, then how is there so much evil in the world and why does he allow natural disasters to occur? I cannot pretend to know the answer to this question I’m sure that only God himself knows this. But I do know that God works in so many ways we do not see and cannot understand, God knows the bigger picture and knows how to reach his goal. He does not ask us to understand all that happens, he does ask us to be content with the evil in the world but he does ask us to trust him because only he knows the master plan and how to make it come about.

written: 22.08.2010

I do not understand your ways oh Lord,
Your Father heart I cannot comprehend.

I do not know why the child is alone Lord or why the mother weeps for her babe.
I do not know why his father left, or why he never calls.
I know not why he pulled the trigger or how she could steal the life of her child.
I’ll never understand the corruption in government or why I have everything and they have nothing.
I cannot know why the volcano erupted or why the sea devoured the earth.
I cannot fathom why they made a bomb or why we went to war.
I know not why she is old and sick or whey he can no longer walk.


I know none of your ways my Lord,
Why you allow such pain.
But what I know for certain is that your plan is good,
Is hopeful,
Is true.
I know you see the entire puzzle whilst I see just one piece.
You know the entire universe whilst I do not know half of the world in which I live.
You protect us from evilness we do not even know exists.

I do not know your path oh Lord,
I know not where you have been,
I cannot see all you have done or hear all that you say.
I do not understand how this all works together or why it had to happen this way.
But what I understand least of all is how you could trust us with your precious creation knowing we would mess it up.

I understand not your ways oh Lord,
But I know that you are good and you hold it all in the palm of your hands.
I know that my faith is in you oh Lord,
My hope is in He who is greater than I,
Because I know not the future,
I know not how things work or what is happening within the universe,
But you Lord see all of creation,
You know where we are, where we’ve been and where we are headed.
Only you Lord know how and why it all works so incredibly.

What if God does?

This was another of those poems which I had floating around my head for months before I could write it. On holiday one August I met a girl who reminded me of all the young girls I work with, she reminded me of the fears that we women hold deep within our soul. Following the holiday I attempted to write this poem but I just couldn’t get it right. Once again I sat with a small group of Godly girls who poured out the fears of their heart, all asking ‘What if God doesn’t give me the things I so desperately hope for?’ In my heart I kept asking ‘But what if He does?’ I couldn’t find the words to express these feelings at the time, but just a few days later on a windy November morning the words stumbled out of my heart and into this poem.

I pray that the themes you see in this poem, the themes that have invaded my heart for so long and the battle I myself fight daily will be something the reader will strive for in their own lives. I know the fears we girls hide away but I am certain God has bigger plans for us, we have a habit of settling for second best, of not realising how much we are worth and this is such an injustice! Proverbs 31 tells us that we are far more precious than rubies. I truly believe that when we see ourselves through Gods eyes, if we learn to respect ourselves, then we unleash more greatness and blessings on our life than we can even imagine. This is so hard for us to understand Sometimes. I believe it’s a battle we face each and every day, satan’s job is to steal kill and destroy an he does it daily by stripping women of their dignity and their hope. Daily we must denounce satan, unchain the hold he has on our hearts and open ourselves to receive the blessing that can only come from God.
May you receive his peace, his blessings and his love.

written: 14.11.09

We’re surrounded by questions,
Questions pulsating from a fearful heart,
Questions embedded so deep they leave a scare as they vault from the trembling soul,
Questions which cause the mind to stumble and the body to shudder,
Questions that blur the future and drive a girl crazy with anxiety.

What if God doesn’t release my dreams?
What if I never reach my potential?
What if God doesn’t forgive me?
What if my prince never shows up?

What if I’m wasting my life on dreams so far in the distance I can barely see them?

What if God doesn’t exist?

But sometimes I wonder…
how the world would change, if people ceased to ask
‘what if God doesn’t?’
and began to ask ‘what if he does?’

What if life is beautiful?
What if God does give you the true desires of your heart?
What if God does want to bless you?
What if your prince is just waiting to be told when?

What if the reason you can’t see your dreams in the distance is because God has bigger and better dreams he’s just waiting to bless you with?

If we could only choose to ask these questions instead,
If we could fight the temptation to limit ourselves,
If we could encourage one another to strive for life in all its fullness
And support each other when times are hard.

What a difference we’d see!

The world would be filled with women striving for greatness,
Women who don’t settle for second best,
Women who shine the love of God with every footstep they take,
Women who inspire others to reach for their God given potential,
Women more beautiful than words can describe,
Women worth far more than rubies.